The Limit

"No."

It's a complete sentence, and a loaded one at that. It's also a very important one to have in your personal dictionary and repertoire. Sometimes the sentence might require a reason, but sometimes that reason is allowed to be held tight to your chest. This is crucial. It is your reason, and your reason alone. If you want someone to understand why you are saying no then by all means, explain away. But don't feel like you have to give one. It's YOUR heart, YOUR head, and YOUR life. 

I'm not sure about your stance on this, but for me, saying no is difficult. I'm not 100% a people pleaser but I'd say that I hate letting people down. I have a huge conscience. Not only is it big but it's obnoxiously loud, so much so that no matter what is happening I can always hear it. The little angel on my shoulder kicked the devil off a long time ago. 

It's something I pride myself on. I am a caring and kind person, who puts everyone before myself. But it is also a problem. I've been told that I'm very sweet, kind, and generous, which are all qualities that I am proud to have, and ones that I respect in others. But make no mistake that when you've wronged me, I can be feisty. There is absolutely no reason to be labeled one way or the other; be both and be proud! 

Saying no is important. Be kind and caring but don't let people walk all over you. People will start to expect things from you. You become reliable, and that's a great thing, but learning to understand your own limit is crucial to your own well being.  Everyone has a limit, and you'll know when you've hit it. To accept it and move forward is key. It comes to a point where you have to remember your own health. 

I don't want to draw too much attention to the obvious counter argument; by this I mean those people who are hopelessly selfish. and yes, it is possible to say no too often. Especially when you are able to say yes and help someone out. What I'm trying to do here is demonstrate that there is balance required. It's a balance that is so important to establish. Life is a balancing act and requires some give and take action. Too much one way or the other and you are left alone as either the unreliable one or the one that is constantly being taken advantage of. 

My point is, don't feel guilty for saying no. Whatever you are saying no to is not your problem to deal with. Help if you can and want to, but don't take on someone else's stress. That isn't fair to YOU.