Coming Home
Take a deep breath. A new post is afoot. It's been two months since my last post here. This has been the longest break I've taken and I'm going to tell you why.
The last month that I spent abroad was full of actual school type projects and such. More importantly though (not that school isn't important) the last month was the last opportunity for everything. I quickly realized that everything I was doing could very well be for the last time; The last trip to Tesco, to my classes, to the movies, to Colchester town, to London. You get the idea. But what was even more strange was the little things I caught myself thinking. Like, "This is one of the last times I'm going to wash this plate here, or brush my teeth." The little insignificant pieces of everyday life became so significant. The last month led up to these little moments. While I tried not to think about it, and my flatmates continually reminded me that I was mistaken and I wasn't actually leaving, every moment became so important to remember.
After my projects were done I wanted to do more travelling, perhaps up to Ireland, or back to Scotland one more time. When it really came down to it though I couldn't for one second leave the people I'd met at Essex. The places would always be there, and I knew I'd be back to visit them. The amazing people that I'd gotten to know wouldn't. The realization that it would never be like this again was heart wrenching. All of us in one place, relatively free to do as we please with no responsibilities holding us down? Nothing like that would happen for us again. I mean, we are from all different corners of the world. the likelihood of a reunion is slim. I couldn't leave. I took it all in, soaked up every bit I could with the people I'd come to love dearly and the place I called my home. The month of December went by and I tried not to think about that plane ticket that was sitting in my desk drawer calling me home. I tried to simply take it all in.
The experience of travelling and studying abroad is easily the most amazing thing I have ever done. I'm changed, for the better, because of it. As my previous post depicted, I learned a lot about myself and what I want. I'm far less afraid to go after it now; the world isn't quite as big as it seems you know.
When I came home, everyone wanted to hear all about my trip and when I responded simply "It was amazing" everyone just sort of looked at me expectantly. They wanted more. But how can you describe something so personal, so near and dear to your heart, and something as raw as an open flesh wound? I couldn't. I opted for a quick synopsis of where I'd visited and what amazing sights I'd seen. The truth is that the most amazing things were the things that happened every day. The little things, the small or big interactions with the people I met. The laughter, the smiles, the support, and the fun. The places are amazing, and no doubt about it I want to see more. But the people you meet at your school, they are what make the exchange experience so absolutely incredible.
I left a little piece of my heart everywhere that I went throughout my trip. This was my first big oversea adventure and I wasn't quite sure how to deal with those missing pieces upon arriving back home. All I wanted was to be back in London, or in Colchester and to be with the people I'd left behind. I didn't want to miss anything, and I knew that I already was. So the blogging process got tucked to the side. And now I'm settled back in at my home school, back to work and to my normal life. And so I'm here to tell you that if an opportunity like this ever comes your way-- Grab it immediately. It is without a doubt the best thing you could do for yourself.
My heart is spread out across the globe and it gives me such joy to know that I can make a home wherever I go. Your home is where your heart is so 'they' say? I have quite a few homes all over the world now and I'm so blessed to know that while Flat 4 of Eddington Tower will never quite be together the same way again, we will always be united in those months we shared together. And if we try hard enough, we will remain friends for a very long time.
I'm now at the point in my life where I'm planning my next voyage. What is next on the list? And how can I achieve it? Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough. The tears in my heart are healing and I know I'll be stronger for it in the end. Life really is all about the journey, not the destination. So I'm asking myself, and you, "Where to next?"
The last month that I spent abroad was full of actual school type projects and such. More importantly though (not that school isn't important) the last month was the last opportunity for everything. I quickly realized that everything I was doing could very well be for the last time; The last trip to Tesco, to my classes, to the movies, to Colchester town, to London. You get the idea. But what was even more strange was the little things I caught myself thinking. Like, "This is one of the last times I'm going to wash this plate here, or brush my teeth." The little insignificant pieces of everyday life became so significant. The last month led up to these little moments. While I tried not to think about it, and my flatmates continually reminded me that I was mistaken and I wasn't actually leaving, every moment became so important to remember.
After my projects were done I wanted to do more travelling, perhaps up to Ireland, or back to Scotland one more time. When it really came down to it though I couldn't for one second leave the people I'd met at Essex. The places would always be there, and I knew I'd be back to visit them. The amazing people that I'd gotten to know wouldn't. The realization that it would never be like this again was heart wrenching. All of us in one place, relatively free to do as we please with no responsibilities holding us down? Nothing like that would happen for us again. I mean, we are from all different corners of the world. the likelihood of a reunion is slim. I couldn't leave. I took it all in, soaked up every bit I could with the people I'd come to love dearly and the place I called my home. The month of December went by and I tried not to think about that plane ticket that was sitting in my desk drawer calling me home. I tried to simply take it all in. |
| This describes it so well |
When I came home, everyone wanted to hear all about my trip and when I responded simply "It was amazing" everyone just sort of looked at me expectantly. They wanted more. But how can you describe something so personal, so near and dear to your heart, and something as raw as an open flesh wound? I couldn't. I opted for a quick synopsis of where I'd visited and what amazing sights I'd seen. The truth is that the most amazing things were the things that happened every day. The little things, the small or big interactions with the people I met. The laughter, the smiles, the support, and the fun. The places are amazing, and no doubt about it I want to see more. But the people you meet at your school, they are what make the exchange experience so absolutely incredible.
I left a little piece of my heart everywhere that I went throughout my trip. This was my first big oversea adventure and I wasn't quite sure how to deal with those missing pieces upon arriving back home. All I wanted was to be back in London, or in Colchester and to be with the people I'd left behind. I didn't want to miss anything, and I knew that I already was. So the blogging process got tucked to the side. And now I'm settled back in at my home school, back to work and to my normal life. And so I'm here to tell you that if an opportunity like this ever comes your way-- Grab it immediately. It is without a doubt the best thing you could do for yourself.
I'm now at the point in my life where I'm planning my next voyage. What is next on the list? And how can I achieve it? Nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough. The tears in my heart are healing and I know I'll be stronger for it in the end. Life really is all about the journey, not the destination. So I'm asking myself, and you, "Where to next?"
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